Tests, tests, tests. So many people seeking the needle in the haystack.

Adahlia’s hemoglobin was 8.6 yesterday, 3 weeks after her last transfusion. It’s not as good as we had hoped, being that she went 5 weeks between transfusions last time. She is slated for a transfusion next week (4weeks).

We still have hope that she is getting better. It has been a tumultuous month, and primarily my health took a downturn during it. Rudolph Steiner, amongst other things, says that a baby’s etheric body is tied to its mothers until it is 7 years old, and that the connection is especially strong as an infant, to the point that they really aren’t separate entities, and what happens to one will affect the other.

Considering my kidneys and the latest development regarding my health, i have to wonder: Am I (my health) causing the blood problems for her?

My pregnancy was so healthy.

Yet I have always had concerns for my heart; my heart and kidneys (bones), or the Shaoyin network in Chinese medicine, has always been the chink in my armor, my weakness, so to speak. (And of course, then, naturally, also my strength .) To describe how and give examples isn’t really my point, here, so you will have to accept it as truth for me, the same way some people might describe having a weak digestion, or weak lungs.

Anyway, what is going in with her is so clearly Shaoyin. Heart (blood) in Kidney (bones).

If she is tapping into my energies, then I do have more reason to hope that she will outgrow this, as she comes more into her own being.

I also have hope because she hasn’t been taking her Chinese herbal formula. It is too strong, not sweet enough, and I don’t have the heart to force it on her. So I adjusted it slightly and will pick it up tomorrow. Hopefully, then, she’ll take it. I really believe it helped last month.

Plus, our home is full of light spirits. The shaman says they stick around for 28 days post clearing, to keep an eye on us and help if we need them. I’ve been asking for their help in healing as much as thanking them for their help thus far. There is definitely a change in atmosphere of this house. It’s really pretty cool.

Today, I learned that maybe I am not a good candidate for the ureter stent surgery to help drain my kidneys because the pre-op ECG showed a T-wave indicative of a heart having a difficult recovery between beats. They had an ECG from 2011 to compare it to (I’ve had arrhythmia and palpitations for some time now) and its clearly a troublesome development. So they’ve ordered a chest x-ray and echo. They want to do a cardiology consult before surgery because they have concerns about giving me anesthesia now. It stresses the heart; my heart apparently doesn’t need any more stress.

Supposedly: “if you were a 60-year-old male, and this was your ECG, I’d say this was the pattern of a heart right before the heart attack.”

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

It is not super surprising because at my last acu appointment, the doc treating me said that my pulses made him more concerned about my heart than my kidneys.

It’s also not super surprising because of all the stress and anxiety related to Adahlia. (Stress-kidneys; anxiety-heart in Chinese medicine.) Plus, there’s a saying in Chinese medicine: “too much sorrow injures the heart.”

And our little family has certainly had its share of sorrow.

Its also not surprising because the warmth and energy of the heart must get down to the kidneys to warm and move the water, in Chinese medicine. This is a clue that maybe the kidney problem is actually more of a heart problem; so we need to treat the heart to treat the kidneys.

This might make sense because I didn’t test positive for kidney draining herbs. But I did test positive for herbs to help the heart and lung (the lung is necessary to distribute qi down to the kidneys).

And my heart and lung pulses are weakest, along with my blood pulses (left side.)

Isn’t all that super fascinating? Chinese medicine is wonderful.

Anyway, the good news is that Adahlia’s echo was yesterday and it is completely normal. There’s no heart defect (VSD) anymore. I’m very happy about that.

….

….

“I don’t want to scare you, but…”

I’ve heard that phrase so often in the last 10 months, related to either my daughter or myself, that today, it just made me grin and shake my head.

Nothing scares me anymore. (Though I always took the bad news well, I must say. I’m somewhat hard to shock or panic.)

Except when I walk in into the dark bedroom to join Adahlia in bed, thinking she’s alone in there, and a low voice drifts towards me in a whisper that’s almost a growl:

“I’m right here.”

…before I can place it as Joe’s voice, yes, that usually gets my neck hairs to straighten right up!